I arrived in Malawi permanently on the 2nd January 2007. I had been here before in 2005, not knowing the true purpose of this visit; as the weeks turned to months spending many hours soul searching, trying to understand why I had put myself on a very remote part of this continent with people I felt really uncomfortable with. It was after I had made a decision that I had punished myself enough, life on the remote Nyika Plateau had awakened in me the need to become anonymous once more and to return to the concrete jungle I had run away from 5 months earlier. I needed to be in a place where things worked, where there was a city crowded with people, to get away from the handful of broken people each hiding from their respective demons. I remember thinking at the time that I was faced by such wide open spaces everyday, yet by the end of five months I was beginning to get cabin fever.
While being incredibly beautiful, the Nyika was cold and unwelcoming….
On 27th August 2005 I welcomed a group of guests from Lilongwe. They had come to the Nyika Plateau for the weekend. In the group consisted of a married couple, a single woman and a single man. They were very friendly upon my greeting, but being tired and all guest out, to me this was just another series of late nights and early mornings of mindless small talk. I couldn’t have been more wrong. We had a wonderful time and an invitation was extended to me by the single man to use his house as a base when I left the Nyika Plateau at the end of September.
My intention when leaving the Nyika was to travel more in the country of Malawi, but by the end of September I had had enough of Nyika, my spirit was in pieces and all I wanted to do was to go back to South Africa, back to my Son, back to my friends, back to things that worked, back to the rat race!
David (the man I met in August) was upset that I wanted to leave. He wanted me to stay and travel as I had planned. I didn’t instead I spent a week sleeping away my pain that would not go away. I knew that David wanted more from me but I was not able to give anything. He was beginning to suffocate me and I could not get away fast enough.
Arriving home was even more depressing….my mother had allowed my sister to stay in my flat, so when I got home I had to camp in unfamiliar surroundings. Getting a job was proving to be extremely difficult. I was going downhill fast…..All the time David was there to give me words of encouragement and all the time I kept pushing him away. I had another decision to make, I would move back to the coast where I had spent most of my life, my son was born there and my friend family were there. I did this; the healing began, I was surrounded by people who accepted me for me, my friends welcomed me with open arms, my son and I spent quality time together. I was home!
For David this was not the end, he was not going to let me slip through his fingers, after many visits from Malawi to Durban, David convinced me that we were meant to be together. After much deliberation with my Son and my best friend, I decided that I would give it a go. Have not looked back, I don’t take one minute of this man for granted in the last 10 months he is the man I can look in the same direction with.
At last I am happy!